Never be yourself at work

We’ve all been told: “Bring your whole self to work”.

Which I’ve thought was a terrible idea since I worked with a guy who absolutely did.

His “whole self” involved turning up late and massively hungover and then enthralling the team with wild accounts of his exploits. Which in itself might have been fine, had he ever bothered to do a jot of work before dashing out for another night of debauchery.

Now organisational psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic has published an HBR book confirming my suspicions and pointing out that even a five-year-old knows some parts of you are better left at home.

One problem is, authenticity often succeeds or fails based on power. The more status you have, the freer you are to be “yourself”. As Tomas says, Elon Musk can be authentic: unfiltered, unedited, abrasive, because he owns a platform, social media company and more money than he can count.

For the rest of us…more risky.

And then there’s culture. British work places have thrived on the nuance of a polite smile for an ‘interesting’ idea and demolishing it in private later. Which works if everyone understands the game. Tomas shares his experience of arriving in the UK and having to work it out and there is something here about Brene Brown’s advice that ‘clear is kind, unclear is unkind’.

Which means that the win, as Tomas says, is to be cognisant of the fine line between conforming to the rules of social engagement while also revealing enough of yourself to be seen as genuine. Or, as your mum might have advised, “try and make a good impression”.

So next time someone tells you to “bring your whole self to work”, don’t take it too literally.

V interested in tales of colleagues who did, and how that played out AND your experience of those unseen rules that vary between cultures. In three years working in America, I quickly found that they find casual British swearing MUCH more offensive than we do…💥

Christine